- And it came to pass that the Cushites who had required and demanded of God for a change of their king, crying and robing themselves in sack clothes and ash, and going without food nor drink from morn to eve, saying “we have had enough of the king from the southern tribe”, had Ahithophel as their king in the 5th month of the year of the great kidnap.
- Ahithophel whose anointing was like unto none before him in the kingdom, having been a deposed king in the year of the great abduction, had stood covetous of the crown for one score and ten years.
- And when it was time that Ahithophel had reigned for exactly one score and ten days (mentioned 32 days or one month or four weeks in recent versions e.g. King Nebu’s version) and having gathered around him dishonest men as his counsel who dine on his table, the people who had hitherto sang in the streets of all the cities of Cush with cymbals, tamborines and drums, started moaning again.
- And it was like a great calamity befell the people of Cush. There was famine in the land. And the great wealth of the land was drying up.
- It was in this month that the owners of chariots had no oil to move their chariots and they were made to queue. They said, “is this not the oil that we had in abundance in the days of King Nebu? How is it that we are poor in the midst of plenty in the beginning of King Ahithophel’s time?”
- And the when the town criers said this before Ahithophel, he was mightily sore and foul of spirit. He gathered all his council of counsels and asked them “what shall I do?”
- He was sore that his chamber of governors are in bickering with each other. There was a certain man of undetermined origin who has taken leadership of the chamber of governors. And Ahithophel’s Chief of the Host of captains was not happy. At this time Ahithophel’s Chief of the host of captains was a certain man from the tribe of sunsets. A man known to have the eyes of the beasts of the forest. A man known to have the taste of delightful women and princesses. He is named Bolathibohech Thinuvuzech.
- And in the council of counsels was another warrior of the tribe of the south. A man that had been careless when he was Commander of the hosts in his tribe. The wealth of his tribe is still missing as was under his care in those days of his time. He is Rolihobeth Amazhiechi.
- And Ahithophel demanded of them good counsel saying “I beseech thee o wisened counselors. Sheath your swords of disharmony and let’s make our promises come to pass just like we have so promised the people”
- And Rolihobeth Amazhiechi who was of a fiery mouth and mind, said “O king, seeyeth not that your Captains, Commanders and archers are unhappy and have taken to wine?” And Ahithophel who detests wine, frowning asked his scribe to note that wine will be abolished in the kingdom.
- Seeing this, Bolathibohech Thinuvuzech stood up in his short glory, saying ” My long lasting King Ahithophel, it is true that there are bickering among the people and your officers. But if it pleases the King, may he allow me to proclaim the people whose names I have on this blessed paper (holding up a piece of paper) as the new officers of the kingdom”. And the brothers closest to the King in the room whispered to him to tarry until he sees the list. And so it was that the king tarried and he could not name his new officers even as he is one score days and ten on the stool in a rock called ASO.
- And on the day after this, the town crier of the fellowship of the PDPese, the naysayers, had unkind words for the new king Ahithophel and his council of counsels thus:
to be continued
P.S: Don’t ask me of the 1st three chapters. This epistle is as seen in the excavated scrolls found in the desert towards the Northern region of the land of Cush. Those three chapters couldn’t be read nor verified and thus their pieces are kept in the museum waiting new technologies is stenography.